Carabeth is coping

I've been doing a fair bit of contemplating lately about my life as a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM). I am so grateful for the opportunity, but I've realized that I haven't been taking my self seriously. That is, that when I would think of the role SAHM, my mind would picture the idealized version that we see in the media (movies & cleaning product ads) and I projected that image onto other mothers and assumed that I was the only mother who didn't clean my bathroom every other day, for example. I felt vaguely guilty when people complimented me for being able to do certain thing, because they said I must be so busy with two children now. Guilty because I don't feel busy. I realize the reason that I don't feel busy is because I'm not spending my days working.

I'm starting to see now that part of being a SAHM is the time spent playing with my children, walking with them or just hanging out talking, reading, whatever. That is being a parent as much as having a clean house or a nice dinner. This is what I've been doing, I just have started giving myself credit. I didn't understand how I could be tired at the end of the day. I know from experience in customer service that just being available to people all day, answering questions in a pleasant and thoughtful way is draining and really parenting is the same sort of work. And the only way to see the result of that work that I do every day is not whether the laundry is folded, it is to see how the children are growing and learning. (hard to put into words without resorting to cliches). 

she's finishing my sentences

While making diiner tonight, Amelia was on her stool, doing her dishes as usual. I left the kitchen for a few minutes and when I came back, she had her little fingers in the flour and cornmeal
I had started for the cornbread and was eating it. "Oh," I exclaimed, "you..." "cheeky monkey" she said. Yeah, that fits.

mia and burke

 

no pics

Our computer isn't speaking to our camera right now, so the cute picture of Burke lying on Amelia's belly will have to hold...

Four weeks in, and all is well. for the past week or ten days, Burke has been cluster feeding and fussy from somewhere between 4:30-6:00 until 8:00 or 9:00. really not too bad considering Amelia's fussy time was from10pm-2am. the only problem is that Amelia doesn't go down on her own, I need to lie with her until thos eyelids fall. This all means that I get through my days fine, but then the evenings do me in, and by 9:30 I am exhausted, especially if Lance has had to work late.

Some little things about Burke; he's got tufts of hair on his ears, its very cute and Hobbit-ish and I've got to get a picture before it falls out (for blackmailing purposes 15 years from now!), he gets grumpy and does this growly, complaining noise if one tries to move him or even put a blanket on him while he's asleep. Now, of course, I can't remember the other things I was going to write about. Next time.

And Amelia is so sweet with him. she loves to help with diapers and clothes. And when her bedtime is going smoothly, it involves me nursing Burke, and Amelia lying with her head on my shoulder, stroking Burke's head.

Ooops, naptime's over now, bye!

Family picture

Here we all are, in our backyard. Burke is now three weeks old! I will write more soon, but it's almost bedtime and Burke is getting ready to wake up for the next meal...